Peer Review 2

 Once upon a time, in the middle of a forest, lived a hare and a tortoise. The hare always bragged about his speed; one day the tortoise decided to challenge him to a race. The entire forest showed up to watch. As soon as the race began, the hare sped off. Once he was far ahead of the tortoise, he decided to stop and take a nap. Meanwhile, the tortoise kept up his leisurely pace, and eventually passed the sleeping rabbit. As the tortoise approached the finish line, all the spectators cheered, waking the rabbit who tried to sprint to the line. He was too late, the tortoise won, teaching the valuable lesson that slow and steady wins the race. This Aesop Fable, along with many other fairy tales, were staples of my childhood. These stories taught me how to be a better person and pointed me down the path I am on today. The narrative of my life has had a similar impact on me and my identity. Just as the story of the Tortoise and the Hare teaches valuable lessons to many children, my personal narrative has crafted my identity and values. The people who I have crossed paths with, events I have experienced, and the memories that I cherish most all contribute to who I am and the morals I hold. My character, more specifically, how I treat others, stems directly from my story.

           I like to think that I am a fairly good human being. I often put others before myself and will extend a helping hand whenever I can. From volunteering at town events, to assisting friends with math, I will always do what I can for someone else. While these qualities are a result of how my parents raised me, they even more so result from my childhood as a whole. I grew up in a small town with not a lot to do. If I didn’t want to sit inside all day playing video games or doing homework, I would go to the library and volunteer with children’s programs or assist at Lions Club functions. These experiences built me, and the more I help others, the more I learned how important it was. Choosing helping over myself quickly became second nature. Looking back on my story, when I remember Girl Scouts, I think of planting daffodils at the town hall, and when I think of fall weekends, I remember helping at the Lions Club Turkey Shoot. I carry on the lesson to act unselfishly as a direct result of my story. Julie Beck, senior editor of the Atlantic Magazine, in her piece, “Life Stories,” discussed a similar idea. She connected similar events in her life and acknowledged how we can find great meaning from them. Like Beck, I “identify overarching values and motifs that recur throughout [my] my story.” When I was younger, I didn’t think much about helping others, while now, I can see the “thematic coherence” and how past events in my narrative have molded the person I am today. As I have grown up, the lessons I learned from my story have become even more solidified morals.

           The events of our stories can also change personality and identity. Beck points out that stories aren’t just stories, they are part of life, and have an impact on the identity of an individual. According to her, “people take the stories that surround them… then identify with them and borrow from them while fashioning their own self-conceptions.” Meaning, stories are interpreted and then values, and opinions are crafted from them.  These values can then alter how people act, along with the morals they live by, such as how they interact with others. This is the case for many individuals, including Narrative Project Interviewee, Ken MacArthur. When he was around 18, he was a U-Haul manager responsible for taking care of the tenants of a storage facility. He had one tenant who was a “bum,” always paying late, and MacArthur was not the kindest too him. It turned out, this “bum” was a top lawyer in Boston, and just accidently killed his wife, losing everything. This story still haunts MacArthur and today he is sure to “never judge anyone.” He advises that we “treat everyone the same, you don’t know their story.” This one event that occurred decades ago, forever changed how Ken MacArthur treated others, and interacted with anyone, despite physical appearances or actions. Just as Beck stated, MacArthur took his experience, and extracted the most important lessons to him and applied them to his life. It was one piece of MacArthur’s narrative that forever changed how he interacted with others, along with the morals he will pass down to his children. He was not proud of what had happened, but that does not diminish the effect that it has had. Narratives are a complex compilation of the ups and downs of life, but this balance makes them even more powerful.

           It is a known fact that life is not a smooth ride. Even so, it can be hard to admit to the bumps and curves along the way, especially when telling your narrative. It is even harder to accept that mistakes are bound to happen. One of the great dangers of life narratives that was brought up by philosopher and literary critic, Galen Strawson, is the need for control. People want their story to sound good, and there is the possibility that the storyteller may change their actions, or the actions of others just to create a more interesting narrative. Strawson quotes sir Henry Taylor, “an imaginative man is apt to see, in his life, the story of his life; and is thereby led to conduct himself in such a manner as to make a good story of it rather than a good life.” If and when this occurs, there is an aspect of selfishness. The focus of life does not become how others are treated, or what brings about joy, but rather what makes the storyteller look good, no matter the effect to other humans in one’s life. Beck had a similar fear of a narrator controlling people in their story. She referred to it as agency, wondering if this approach “come[s] at a cost to the other characters in your story.” If people are seen as players rather than humans in the eyes of a narrator, it will craft an individual that is not a good person, especially in how they treat others. Staging part of one’s story is like girls taking an Instagram picture. I know personally, that sometimes we put on cute, but not comfortable outfits and stand in awkward positions just to get a picture that looks really good. Life stories can be the same way, as their power can be used positively or negatively. Narratives have the power to fuel selfishness, and disregard for the wellbeing of others. Simultaneously, they wield the ability to cause growth in individuals with how they act and how they treat other people. 

           I am faced with these same dilemmas with my story. I can treat it like an Instagram feed, making it look pretty and fun, or I embrace the craziness of life, and everything that I have been through. Despite Strawson’s warnings of dangerous control in stories, I press on to uncover meaning in my story. “Everything – our friendships and hatreds, the way we look, our handshakes, the things we remember and forget, our books, our handwriting – bears witness to our being,” and our values as well (Strawson). I am only eighteen years old, with a lot of life, and a lot of mistakes ahead of me, but also a lot of stories behind me that have already instilled values of kindness and selflessness. I am the youngest in my family, and for awhile, I was the shortest. One day, I stated that I would one day be taller than my sister, who was about a foot taller than me at the time, and my family just laughed, except for my grandmother. Years later, the summer after she passed away, I surpassed my sister. I am now around two inches taller than my older sister. My grandmother saw the best in me, and believed in me, even when my goals were a little far fetched, or impossible to control. Now I cherish her legacy, and want to do for others, what she did for me. I always look for the best in others, and I always believe that there is good behind a layer of anger. My relationship with my grandmother, and the memories I have of her, have led to the development of my being. My empathy for others is a direct result from her kindness and understanding for me, and her role in my narrative.

           Some stories are built on lies and embellishments, and some narrators thirst for the control of their story, however I can confidently say my personal identity has been positively impacted from my narrative. Who I am, and my beliefs are more like clay than granite. Morals and values are the foundations of who we are, but they are subject to change. New events that arise in life, and different interpretations of the past can lead to new values and characteristics of any individual. No one is destined to forever be a bad guy, or even a superhero. Our story impacts how we treat others, however life is continuing. The narrative of life is also growing, meaning who we are, and how we treat others can change, hopefully for the better.